The Tragedy of Sirius Black
by GryffindorBeth
Summary: Sirius's life was not all pranks and laughter. Once, his best friend James said that the fact Sirius found as much laughter in life as he did showed just how powerful a human he was. Oneshot detailing the less happy moments of Sirius's life from his childhood to the loss of his best friend, written in honor of the anniversary of his trip through the veil.


When he was five, Sirius was outside playing in the front lot of Number Twelve with the boys in the neighboring houses. It was a Tuesday, and the Muggle boys talked on and on about how they loved school, and wondering why their friend Sirius never went. Sirius went inside when the other boys were called in for supper and he asked him Mum why he didn't go to school. Mrs. Black sneered and asked him where he got the idea of going to Muggle school. That's when Sirius told her he played outside with the Muggle boys every day. Mrs. Black, an exceptionally absent mother, was shocked and sent her son to bed without supper. From then on out Sirius and Regulus were not allowed to play outside when the other children were.

When he was six, Sirius accidentally convinced Regulus that their Mum was dying. Even Sirius wasn't sure after the fact how it had happened. After Regulus, only three at the time, spent hours crying and clinging to Mrs. Black, she finally snapped. She cornered her oldest son, trying to get to the root of the issue. Sirius, however, said he didn't know why Regulus was crying. In three year old terms Regulus explained that Sirius said Mummy was dying. Mrs. Black sent Sirius to bed without supper.

When he was seven, Sirius got his longest punishment yet. Mrs. Black had many members of the Black family over, including her three wonderful nieces, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda. During the appetizers, conversation was somehow turned to the horrible curse on the world that was Muggles. At the kids table, Bellatrix, in her second year at Hogwarts, explained that Muggles were dumb and stinky, and even the Mudbloods at school were dumb and stinky. Sirius, thinking about the boys he used to play with and still watched play together from Regulus's window disagreed with Bellatrix. If he would have stayed silent, Sirius probably could have avoided trouble, but he didn't. He tried to explain how the neighborhood boys didn't seem dumb or smell bad. Narcissa was scandalized, and told her mother. When Mr. Black heard what his son had said, he whipped Sirius with his belt and sent him to bed. For three weeks, he was sent to bed before his father came home. Mrs. Black said it was to save him from getting beat again, but Sirius knew going without supper was just as much a punishment as a beating.

By the time Sirius was nine, Regulus was old enough to understand that for some reason Mummy and Father didn't like Sirius. Sirius was gladdened by the fact that Regulus didn't hate him. Regulus didn't understand why Mummy and Father would give Sirius weird looks and talk in low tones at night about how they could have raised their son so wrong. Sirius was to be the heir of the Black family, but if he could not get his act together, they might have to do something drastic. Mr. Black tried to calm his wife down, saying that Hogwarts would show Sirius the light. After all, all Blacks who remained on the family tree were in Slytherin, and in Slytherin house there were plenty of people who would take a young Black under their wing to show him the light. Sirius and Regulus had been sitting on the stairs listening to their parents have this conversation, and it was then Sirius swore if he was sorted into Slytherin, it would be the last thing he did.

At ten, Sirius saved his brother's life. The details of the situation weren't even clear to Regulus, but he somehow almost got run over by a Muggle vehicle. Sirius saw it was about to happen and rushed out into the street (though both brothers had been forbidden to go outside during this time of the afternoon, anyway) and pushed his brother out of the way. Sirius's leg got run over in the process, and though Mrs. Black could have fixed it in an instance, she let Sirius "learn his lesson" about going outside without permission until he passed out due to the pain. When he came round, his leg was healed, and Regulus was trying to help him to bed. When they got upstairs, Sirius saw the tears in Regulus's eyes. The two brothers stood in silence, hugging and crying and wishing they could have a happy life.

When he was eleven, Sirius finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel. He was going to Hogwarts in September, and nothing would stop him. His parents cared to much about how it would look to the pureblood community to risk keeping him at home. Though Mrs. Black considered sending him to Durmstrangs ("It'll correct his views! Their emphasis on dark magic will make him a good Black!") Mr. Black insisted that all well-to-do Black men went to Hogwarts, and both of his sons would. On the train, Sirius met James Potter, a pure blood who's family had been taken off the list as 'blood traitors' many years ago. James didn't seem to mind, however, and once the gross boy and the redhead girl had left their compartment, they spent the whole train ride talking about growing up. Secretly Sirius was jealous of James, who's older parents seemed to adore him and had let James make friends with Muggles and attend primary school. However, James was also loads of fun, and they didn't stop talking until the Sorting Hat started to sing. James had said he expected to be in Gryffindor, like his father. Sirius felt the nerves in his stomach as it got closer and closer to being his turn to get sorted, until he felt as though he was going to throw up when Professor McGonagall called "Black, Sirius." The hat was only on his head for a few minutes before it yelled out "GRYFFINDOR!" There was an audible gasp from the crowd before the Gryffindor table started cheering for their newest member, no matter how surprising. Sirius hadn't even had a chance to write home before the howler arrived in his dormitory the next morning, and James tried to break the tension by cracking a joke as soon as Sirius's mother's voice had stopped echoing around the room. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, two other boys sharing their dorm, also attempted to cheer Sirius up, and the thought that he was making friends who didn't care about what his mum and father thought made him happier than he had been in ages.

At home over the next four years, Sirius did his best to show Regulus there was another way than following what his parents said. Sirius told Regulus of all the fun times he had at school, and how being sorted into a different house than Slytherin had freed him. After he turned eleven, Sirius tried to convince Regulus, who had always been kinder and softer than his older brother, that being in Hufflepuff was a good option for him, if he didn't want to be in Gryffindor like his older brother. After Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, he told Sirius that he couldn't break his mum's heart. From then on, at school the two brothers were never seen talking. On occasion Sirius would prank Regulus, but Regulus almost never retaliated. Little did most of the school know, the brothers often had meetings in empty classrooms. They might have decided on different ways of life, but they were still brothers. Over the summer, the two boys were still as close as they could be, given that Sirius was a rebel through and through and Regulus tried to be the son they wanted. When everything got to be too much at home, Sirius would write to James Potter, who would almost always immediately write back saying that Sirius was always welcome, and attaching floo powder so he could come visit.

Sirius got kicked out of Number 12 for a culmination of reasons. By that point, Sirius knew it was no good arguing. He didn't care anymore. He felt bad for Regulus; without Sirius there, he knew his little brother would crack under the pressures of being a Black, however he knew he couldn't stay. Regulus helped him pack his trunk before Sirius left for the Potters' house. Sirius didn't know, but after Mrs. Black forced her younger son to watch her blast the elder off the family tree, Regulus went into his room and cried, holding his brother's Gryffindor jumper he had left behind because it was too small.

The war against Lord Voldemort was hard on Sirius. The Dark Lord and his followers murdered people left and right, and many people he had befriended since leaving home were among the casualties. In his seventh year, Sirius has started dating Marlene McKinnon. She, like Sirius, Remus, James, Lily and Peter, joined Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix as soon as they left school. Marlene and her whole family were killed the day after Sirius turned 19.

When Lily told Sirius she was pregnant, his head started spinning. How could his best friends bring a life into a world as chaotic as this? "It wasn't planned... I haven't found the courage to tell James yet" Lily told Sirius. Sirius told Lily right away that she needed to tell James. Three months later, he stood next to his best friend, watching James marry the love of his life who was pregnant with their child. Sirius cried as they gave their vows, but not as hard as he cried the first time he held his godson a few months later. Sirius knew the second Harry was placed in his arms he would do anything to protect him.

When Peter's flat was empty, Sirius felt his stomach drop. He apperated to the Potter's so quickly that he splinched part of his pinky toe. A quick spell to stop the bleeding later and he stared at the building, half broke. Sirius felt hot tears run down his face. as he ran in through the door that had been knocked off its hinges. He wanted to puke as he stumbled upon James, lying cold on the ground right near the door, his glasses askew from falling. Sirius cried big hot tears as he held his best friend's cold body, begging that this was just a dream, that it wasn't true. Sirius then heard Harry's cries. He let go of James, carefully walking up the stairs and heading to the nursery. When Sirius got to the upstairs hallway, he gasped. The roof was off, leaving his godson sitting in his crib with the part of the wall behind him missing as well as the moon beaming down on him. Sirius ran into the room, stopping as he realized he would have to step over Lily to get to Harry. A fresh wave of tears fell from Sirius's eyes as he reached down to move Lily out of the way. He muttered his apologies much like he had to his best friend downstairs before standing and picking up his godson. He tried to comfort Harry, but it was hard since he was crying too. When Harry called for his mum, Sirius didn't know what to do. Eventually, Hagrid arrived, and he told Sirius that he had orders from Dumbledore to take Harry. Sirius protested, but at that point he already knew it was no good. He handed Harry over and told Hagrid to use his bike. Sirius already knew what he needed to do.

"PETER! HOW COULD YOU!" Sirius screamed as he cornered his ex-friend. He didn't get a chance to say anything else as Peter made the road explode, killing so many Muggles. Sirius watched through the mayhem as Peter cut off his finger, then transformed into Wormtail. As aurors arrived, Sirius just laughed. Of course he was getting arrested for this. Lily and James were dead, Peter had killed them. Harry was being taken away from him. There was nothing left to live for.

* * *

"SIRIUS!" Sirius vaguely heard his godson calling for him as he fell backwards into the veil. Sirius thought that he was lucky he'd had time with Harry. Lily and James had gotten less time with their son than he had. Merlin, it was a bloody tragedy. Sirius blinked, and Harry's face appeared, smiling. Sirius opened his eyes, and a slightly older face appeared before him, same crazy hair... but dark eyes and scarless. Sirius gaped.

"So I guess this means my crazy cousin won," Sirius muttered.

"Welcome home, brother," James responded, reaching out to hug his friend. Sirius let James's arms wrap around him, crying. When James pulled away, Sirius saw he was crying too. Sirius saw Lily sitting by herself, a little ways away. On the other side, Sirius saw a figure who looked so much like his own reflection... well, before he had gotten locked away. His reflection the past three years had scared even him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left him," Sirius said, and it was unclear whether he was talking about his younger brother or his godson.

"You did what you could, Sirius," James said, clapping an arm on his friend's shoulder. "You did good." Slowly, James led Sirius over to Lily. She hugged him tightly, and then Sirius motioned that he would be right back. He walked over to his brother, and gave him a tap on the shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," both brothers said at the same time, and Sirius started crying again. As he hugged his brother, he felt hot tears on his own shoulder, and realized that Regulus was crying too.

Sirius's life was not all pranks and laughter. Once, his best friend James said that the fact Sirius found as much laughter in life as he did showed just how powerful a human he was.


End file.
